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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27256237">make-believe, it's hyper real</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/littleboxes/pseuds/littleboxes'>littleboxes</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Julie and The Phantoms (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bisexual Reggie (Julie and The Phantoms), Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Nonbinary Flynn (Julie and the Phantoms), Nonbinary Julie Molina, Nonbinary Reggie (Julie and the Phantoms), Queer Themes, Questioning, Referenced 90s-era Queerphobia, Trans Luke Patterson (although it's not really relevant), alex and reggie are childhood friends, idk how to tag that but they punch each other and scream and its referenced in (1) line, implied child neglect, reggie's parents fighting and references to physical fighting?</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 01:00:35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,341</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27256237</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/littleboxes/pseuds/littleboxes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>never met a cishet that could pull off a leather jacket like that</p><p>(or: reggie is neither cis nor het and good for him.)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Flynn &amp; Julie Molina, Flynn &amp; Reggie (Julie and The Phantoms), Julie Molina &amp; Reggie</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>225</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>make-believe, it's hyper real</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this is just me projecting. so much. i am a nonbinary and reggie may as well being a whiteboard in a high school classroom for how much im projecting onto him. reggie and every single sunset curve boy is queer and so are flynn and julie and Good For Them<br/>oops this fic is actually just a big bag of queer jatp headcanons without even a paper thin plot but i will not apologize<br/>title is from buzzcut season (lorde)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Reggie spends most of his childhood mostly unaware of the concept of gender. He knows that he's a boy, like his dad, and people who aren't boys are girls, like his mom. There's a horribly awkward class in fifth grade that makes him and pretty much every other kid in the room want to sink through the floor, but other than that, gender doesn't really cross his mind. People call him <em>he</em> and <em>boy</em> and he's about as attached to those words as he is to the words <em>fractions</em> and <em>adverbs</em>.</p><p>His freshman year of high school, he goes to a dance with a girl named Serena and spends most of the night discovering he doesn't mind dancing. He doesn't like it as much as playing bass, but it's nice, swaying with Serena. During one of the lulls, he tells her how pretty her dress is, and she blushes. He doesn't intend to speak his next thoughts aloud, but he tends to do that, talk without a filter.</p><p>"It looks <em>way</em> comfier than a suit. Wish I could wear something like that."</p><p>Serena laughs, and says Reggie is one of the nicest guys she's ever dated. Are they dating?</p><p>They keep dancing, and Reggie realizes that he really, truly wouldn't mind wearing a dress like Serena's. His leather jacket would match it pretty well, too-</p><p>Reggie knows he isn't the smartest person, but he knows this is something that needs to stay a harmless compliment everywhere but his own head. He thinks about one of the rare days when his parents got distracted from fighting to sit down and watch the news. Reggie had to look up what <em>queers</em> meant on a library computer, and he remembers being glad that the worried librarian that shooed him away didn't call his parents.</p><p>(Then he's distracted from worrisome thoughts by Serena's standing up on her toes to give him a kiss before wandering off to the snack table. He stares after her in surprise until another couple bumps into him, and shoos him off the dance floor.)</p><p> </p><p>It's not until a few days later, when he's strumming his bass in his room while his parents are out, that he can think about what it <em>means</em>. He knows what gay people are, and he's definitely... stared at boys before, but he <em>liked</em> kissing Serena at the dance, and he's never heard of anyone liking both. And besides, Alex has never mentioned wanting to wear dresses, before, and he <em>would've</em>, Reggie's sure. They've known each other since fourth grade. No, this is a <em>Reggie</em> thing.</p><p>After spending a pretty useless saturday afternoon thinking, Reggie decides he's probably some kind of queer, but he doesn't know what, and he can probably figure it out. Eventually. And once he figures it out, he can tell Alex. Not before, though. Just in case it turns out this is just... just a one off, or something.</p><p>(It's not <em>just a one off, or something</em>.)</p><p> </p><p>Reggie and Alex meet Luke and Bobby and Luke says <em>we should start a band!</em> and Alex looks nervous (but Alex always looks nervous) and excited and Reggie is <em>excited</em> and Bobby is a year older than Luke and way quieter, but Reggie's pretty sure he's smiling. Plus, his leather jacket's cool, and even though he acts annoyed when Reggie asks where he got it, he tells him anyway, so he can't be all bad.</p><p>They start a band, and Luke's a <em>great</em> songwriter, and he wears shirts with <em>really</em> big arm holes, and sometimes he'll sing with Reggie at the same microphone, and get so close Reggie can smell his breath (which, honestly, isn't usually that great, but Reggie is distracted by trying to not mess up the lyrics and also not drown in Luke's <em>stupidly</em> soulful eyes.)</p><p>Joining a band is sort of a lot. <em>Luke</em>, is sort of a lot.</p><p>Alex comes out to the guys and that's when Reggie knows they're not just a band, they're a <em>band</em>. Alex comes out and the next day Luke is sitting on the couch with Bobby pressed against his shoulder and he tells them he's <em>bisexual</em> (and Bobby says that if they have a problem with that, they have a problem with him, too, and Reggie notices the rainbow colored chain resting against his neck for the first time and wonders how long that's been there.)</p><p>Reggie stares at him, because <em>you can do that?</em> and then Luke tells them he's transgender, and explains what it means, and Bobby glares at them all and holds his guitar sort of like a baseball bat and Reggie gets that Luke might have had a Playground Incident of his own and Reggie looks at Alex who is looking at Luke and Reggie looks at Bobby and <em>looks</em> at him, and Bobby <em>looks</em> back, and basically, none of it ever becomes a problem and Reggie gets <em>way</em> more hugs.</p><p>(They never talk about it, but Reggie thinks that Alex and Luke talked about their respective Playground Incidents. He's glad for them. He knows he could probably sit down and come out to the guys about being bisexual, but then decides there's been enough serious sitting down. He just starts commenting more on their hot guy fans and hopes they get the gist of it.)</p><p>In addition to the hugs, he also gets a lot of questions.</p><p>Well, one less question, actually, because when he looks at himself in the bathroom mirror and says, <em>I'm bisexual</em>, it feels <em>right</em> and good and perfect, and it's honestly really nice to be able to comment on guys he likes and have his friends either agree (Luke) or start ranting about his terrible taste again (Alex) or both (Bobby), so that's great, but now his head is filled with stuff like <em>transgender</em> and <em>they thought I was a girl but I'm actually a boy and my parents helped me change my name </em>and Reggie-</p><p>Reggie looks in the mirror and whispers, <em>I'm a boy</em>, and it feels cold and sour in his mouth and Reggie has absolutely no idea what to do about it.</p><p> </p><p>Sunset Curve has a name and a demo and <em>gigs</em>, and Reggie's parents have decided the vases in the kitchen work better as projectiles than counter decor and Alex's parents don't let him come over to hang out anymore and Luke's living in the studio now, and Reggie makes a list.</p><p>He steals a legal pad from the kitchen and uses a pen that's almost out of ink he finds wedged behind his desk, and writes:</p><p> </p><p> </p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p><em>Boy Stuff / Girl Stuff.</em> </p>
</blockquote><p> </p><p>Then he stops, and starts chewing on the pen, because what <em>is</em> girl stuff? What is boy stuff?</p><p>It takes him a couple hours and by the end of it he isn't any less confused, and is arguably <em>more</em> confused then when he began, but he has two lists.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p><em>Butterflies, glitter, dresses, flowers, lipstick, tea parties, locker stickers, pink, crying</em>.</p>
  <p><em>Punching stuff, sports, not dresses, <strike>music</strike>, interrupting people, cars, <strike>yelling</strike>, ties</em>.</p>
</blockquote><p> </p><p>His main references are his family, Alex's family, and his classmates, which are <em>very</em> unhelpful. Alex's dad is always going on about how real men know how to fix their own cars, but Reggie knows he had to take their car to a mechanic because smoke started pouring out of the engine once. Reggie doesn't really care about butterflies or glitter, but he thinks he like dresses. He's never tried one, before, and the idea is both thrilling and terrifying.</p><p>Flowers are okay, he didn't mind Serena's lipstick when she'd kissed him at the dance, even if he's not sure he'd want to try it for himself, and he's never actually done a tea party. That's mostly something Alex's little sister loves, and he only knows that because Alex used to complain about getting roped into it all the time.</p><p>Reggie has a ton of stickers on his locker, even if they're mostly music stuff. He likes red over pink, but Alex loves pink and he's definitely a dude. Reggie doesn't cry as much as Alex but they both cry a lot, and Luke's dad says there's nothing wrong with expressing your feelings.</p><p>Reggie hates punching things, and he hates when other people punch things, and he knows for a fact his mom has punched his dad at least once, even if it's a memory he hates (because his dad punched back, and then they started screaming even louder than usual.) He likes music more than sports, although he's good at running. Does running count as a sport? As much as he doesn't think he'd mind dresses, Reggie loves what he wears now.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <em>Boy Stuff: 1 / Girl Stuff: 2 and a half?</em>
  </p>
</blockquote><p> </p><p>Going by the numbers, Reggie's a girl, but calling himself that doesn't feel right <em>either</em>.</p><p>He glares at the list, before deciding that it's great for Alex that making lists makes him feel better, but they're useless for Reggie.</p><p>He crumples it up, decides this is something that can wait until later, and heads to practice.</p><p>A week later, they book a gig at the Orpheum. A week after that, Reggie is dead.</p><p> </p><p>It's not that Reggie forgets, about all the, the <em>stuff</em>, after they die. It's just that, the fact that he's <em>dead</em> and a <em>ghost</em> sort of takes over most of his brain space for a while, and they're in a band with Julie, and then his house is gone and all his stuff is gone and his parents are gone, and then <em>Bobby stole their songs</em> and then they miss the dance, and then it feels like dying all over again and they're gonna die <em>again</em> and then they're playing the Orpheum but they're still here and then Julie's standing in the garage doorway, silhouetted by the lights that are making her tears shine and it's <em>awful</em>, and Reggie just can't <em>help</em> a quiet, "you're welcome," and then <em>Julie can touch them</em>.</p><p>It's- a lot. It's a lot, and it's easy to focus on everything else, until there's no more everything else to focus on, besides band practice, and their next gig, and needling Luke about admitting his feelings for Julie.</p><p>So that's how Reggie finds himself lying on the piano, staring at the floating chairs (he knows they're just nailed to the wood. But he likes to imagine they're floating up there. It's more whimsical) when Julie and Flynn come in.</p><p>He can't quite hear what they're saying, but he hears Julie's, "Oh! Hey Reggie! Me and Flynn were gonna do our homework in here- oh, that reminds me. They wanted me to ask you how come you guys can change clothes even though you left them here and you're ghosts? I told Flynn none of us really know how it works, but..."</p><p>Reggie sits up and stares at Julie. "They?"</p><p>Julie blinks at him, before gesturing at Flynn. "Their pronouns are they/them today- uh, do you know what nonbinary means?"</p><p>Reggie can't stop staring at Julie, and he knows it's probably more intense than he usually is but something about this conversation feels <em>important</em>, and he says, "No, uh, what does it mean?"</p><p>Flynn pokes Julie in the shoulder. "Where is he, I wanna talk in the right direction."</p><p>Reggie saves Julie the trouble by poofing in front of Flynn.</p><p>"Well, now he's right in front of you," Julie says.</p><p>"Right! So, basically, it's different for everyone, right? But for me, I'm like... like some days, I feel like a girl, and some days I feel like kind of a girl but not a girl at all, and some days I feel like... like my gender is just <em>me</em>, not, anything else? You know? And even when I feel like a girl, it's not how, like... other girls feel like girls. So, I use both she and they pronouns, but some days I use <em>only</em> she or they. Today's a they-day."</p><p>Flynn is staring at him, and Reggie doesn't actually need to breathe but he sort of feels like he's choking anyway.</p><p>"Oh," is all he gets out, before he forces himself to take a breath. He doesn't, actually, but the motion makes him feel better."Is it like, is it like being trans?"</p><p>Julie translates for him to Flynn, before answering. "It is for some people. Like, I'm trans and nonbinary, and I use she and they too, but I use both all the time, if that makes sense? It's really up to each person. Some people are trans, some are trans and nonbinary, and some just prefer to use only nonbinary."</p><p>Julie pauses for a minute, before moving closer to Reggie. She must see something on his face, because she says, "Do you want us to use different pronouns for you, Reggie?</p><p>Julie's voice is soft and gentle and she's got the most- the most <em>accepting</em> look Reggie's ever seen on anybody's face, and he can't help a sniffle. And then another one, and then he's crying, and he's really glad ghost tears can't get physical things wet or Julie's sweater would be <em>ruined</em>. He sees Flynn move out of the corner of his eye to hug Julie, but she reaches an arm over and it hovers an inch above him. That only makes him cry harder.</p><p>They stay in a hug for a while, until Reggie has dried his eyes, and is sort of clinging to Julie.</p><p>"I, uh, I think I'm nonbinary?" he says, and he says it like a question, but as soon as the words leave his mouth it feels <em>right</em>, and he smiles. "I'm nonbinary!"</p><p>"I'm so happy for you, Reggie," Julie says, and Flynn nods.</p><p>"Hell yeah, join the club, ghostie!"</p><p>Reggie rubs the back of his neck as he looks at Julie and says, "Could you, uh, use he and they for me?"</p><p>"Of course! Do you want to tell the guys when they get back?"</p><p>Reggie thinks about it, and finds himself smiling. "Yeah. I think- I'd like that."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>on tumblr @reggiesnecklace</p></blockquote></div></div>
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